When knowing what to do isn’t the same as being able to do it
One of the most frustrating experiences I’ve had with AuDHD is knowing exactly what I need to do…
…and still not being able to do it.
I know the task. I understand the instructions. I know it’s important. I might even really want to do it. And yet somehow, I cannot make myself start.
For a long time, I thought this meant I was lazy, disorganised or lacking discipline. Learning about executive functioning gave me a different explanation.
What are executive functions?
Executive functions are a group of cognitive skills that help us manage tasks, behaviour, attention and everyday life.
They include things such as:
- planning
- organising
- prioritising
- initiating tasks
- managing time
- remembering information
- switching between tasks
- regulating attention
- monitoring progress
- regulating emotions
These skills don’t necessarily operate independently. They work together to help us navigate everyday demands.
And when those systems aren’t working reliably, even very ordinary tasks can become surprisingly difficult.
“But you know how to do it”
This is one of the most frustrating misunderstandings.
Sometimes the problem isn’t that I don’t know how.
It’s that I can’t get from: I need to do this
I need to do this.”
to: I am now doing this
I am now doing this.”
Those are two very different things.
I can have a complete plan in my head. I can know exactly where to start. And still sit there unable to initiate the task.
That gap can be incredibly frustrating. Especially when other people assume that because you understand what needs to happen, you should simply be able to do it.
Starting is sometimes the hardest part
Task initiation is a big one for me.
A task might take ten minutes once I actually begin it. But getting started can feel enormous.
Sometimes I’ll spend more time thinking about doing something than the task itself would actually take.
And then I become frustrated with myself for wasting time. Which creates even more emotional resistance.
It’s a wonderfully unhelpful cycle.
Time can also be weird
Time management is another area where executive functioning can become complicated.
There can be a huge difference between: I have plenty of time
I have plenty of time.”
and : Oh no. It’s happening now
Oh no. It’s happening now.”
Sometimes a deadline creates the urgency my brain needs to finally engage. That can make it look like I work best under pressure.
But there is a difference between being productive under pressure and having a sustainable way of working.
Constantly relying on urgency is exhausting.
The things I’m good at don’t necessarily tell the whole story
This is important. Someone can be extremely organised at work and struggle to organise things at home. Someone can meet every deadline and struggle to complete basic everyday tasks. Someone can have an immaculate workspace and still struggle with time management. Someone can be incredibly productive when interested and completely stuck when bored.
Executive functioning difficulties aren’t necessarily consistent across every situation. Motivation, interest, urgency, environment, energy and emotional state can all affect how accessible those skills feel.
AuDHD makes the picture even more complicated
This is one reason I find the AuDHD framework so useful. Autism can come with a strong preference for structure, predictability and routine. ADHD can make consistency, task initiation and organisation difficult. So you can desperately want structure while struggling to create and maintain it.
You can make a beautiful system…
…and then stop using it.
You can love a routine…
…and still struggle to follow it.
That contradiction can be incredibly frustrating until you understand what’s happening.
It’s not about intelligence
This is something I wish more people understood. Executive functioning difficulties have nothing to do with intelligence.
You can be highly intelligent and still struggle to start a simple task. You can understand something incredibly complex and struggle to remember to send an email. You can solve complicated problems and then completely forget why you walked into another room.
The ability is there. Accessing it consistently is the difficult part.
Learning to work with my brain
I’m still figuring out what helps me. But I’ve become much more interested in reducing the amount of executive functioning a task requires rather than simply demanding more of myself.
Making things visible. Breaking tasks down. Using reminders. Reducing unnecessary decisions. Creating routines that are realistic rather than aspirational. Using external systems instead of expecting myself to remember everything. And, importantly, trying to remove some of the shame from the process.
Because shame doesn’t make executive functioning easier.
🎧 Listen to Episode 6
This post accompanies Episode 6 of the That AuDHD Teacher podcast, where I explore executive functioning and why “just do it” isn’t always as simple as it sounds.
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